Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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