i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's the barista slut.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
