I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
