this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
