We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
