if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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