I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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