He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Edward fifth and chaser hands
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
