I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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