so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
