tonight lets celebrate not being married
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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