Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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