Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's great music for shaving your balls
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
