awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
