I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
