in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
