i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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