My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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