But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
