Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
