just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
