This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
