Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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