Joe is yelling at the trees again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just gift wrapped bread.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
