i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
