In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
