I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
