And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
