sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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