he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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