doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
is wine microwaveable?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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