i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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