yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
