I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
