5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
