this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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