at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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