No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
