Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
