Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
