Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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