i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
