also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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