So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
