I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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