The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
