I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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