His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize