I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
