im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
